School has been out for a month now. I have been writing, though not as much as I should. I have been pretty lazy actually. Though I don't think the laziness is actually what is contributing to the not writing. I have hit a section of the draft that needs a lot of filling in the gaps. And I am having a hard time getting those scenes to rise to the surface of my brain long enough to get them on paper (or computer screen, same difference). So, as an avoidance technique, I have been playing video games. Deus Ex currently, though I have jumped around from title to title quite a bit. Deus Ex is really interesting though, open world, but not so open I get lost, and enough quests to keep me going but not so many that I feel overwhelmed with the different directions that I need to go.
Anyway, what seems to work best for the writing is if I leave the house to do it. Starbucks or another coffee shop is the most comfortable place to go, because at a restaurant I always feel like I am taking up a table that they could use for someone else. Which isn't the case, because most of the time when I go it isn't the busy times of day. But getting away from the PS3 helps a lot. Unfortunately, I still have the internet with me pretty much everywhere I could go, so that doesn't help very much. Tumblr will be the death of me, I swear.
I haven't been reading either, which makes me sad. I have tons of stuff I want to read that I didn't in the last year or so because I was always in school. I have been carrying House of Leaves around with me, as well as me kindle, but I pull them out and look at them and then end up doing something on my phone for that space of empty time. Usually either Draw Something or Pocket Frogs.
Playing Deus Ex has brought into my head the desire to be a cyborg. Not a robot wrapped in human flesh like Terminator, and not some mostly mindless dude like Robocop, but a human who has computer and mechanical augmentations that increase the natural abilities. I wouldn't mind having a computer with built in wifi in my brain.
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Do or Do Not
I have had a realization. I don't know if I would consider it an epiphany or not, simply because it didn't strike me all at once, it has been rolling in the back of my mind causing me guilt and shame for a while now, I just didn't want to formally acknowledge it.
I am failing at being a writer. Mostly because I don't write. Writers write, right? And if you aren't writing, you aren't a writer, right right? (and school doesn't count)
Anyway, even though this realization was difficult for me to accept, it was also healthy, because it has kicked my ass in gear.
If I want to be a professional writer I have to stop thinking like an amateur. I have to write every day, whether I want to or not, and I have to finish my shit and edit it so it isn't shit and then I have to do something with it. Whether that is trying to go independent and toss it on amazon and/or barnes and noble, or if it means sending it to publishers/agents/magazines/etc trying to get my name out there.
I have to stop treating this like a hobby and starting treating it like my job, because that is what I want it to be. I need to give myself hours (even if they are flexible on when, there needs to be a set number of them) and deadlines.
And I need to fucking write.
I am failing at being a writer. Mostly because I don't write. Writers write, right? And if you aren't writing, you aren't a writer, right right? (and school doesn't count)
Anyway, even though this realization was difficult for me to accept, it was also healthy, because it has kicked my ass in gear.
If I want to be a professional writer I have to stop thinking like an amateur. I have to write every day, whether I want to or not, and I have to finish my shit and edit it so it isn't shit and then I have to do something with it. Whether that is trying to go independent and toss it on amazon and/or barnes and noble, or if it means sending it to publishers/agents/magazines/etc trying to get my name out there.
I have to stop treating this like a hobby and starting treating it like my job, because that is what I want it to be. I need to give myself hours (even if they are flexible on when, there needs to be a set number of them) and deadlines.
And I need to fucking write.
Monday, May 7, 2012
someone that I used to know
Discovered Gotye. Why did no one tell me about him? Actually, someone did try to tell me about him, and I just didn't go looking for him until after I heard the song on the radio. (gotta say that I love The River)
Sometimes I wonder about the people I used to know. Sometimes I wonder if I am one of those people that leaves behind a trail of abandoned friendships and broken bonds. I have never been good at long distance anything. My brain (I speak of him as if he is Other, and not really me, I wonder what that means) has a habit of focusing on the internal to the exclusion of pretty much anything else. This means that if you aren't in my face and saying "PAY ATTENTION TO ME FOR ONE DAMNED MINUTE" I probably won't. I left behind a group of friends every time we moved (which wasn't often, but it happened). And I would promise that I would write, we would exchange phone numbers, and then I left, and didn't look back. Friends from grade school that I lost touch with, so many of my friends from high school. Those are the worst, I think, because I didn't want to lose them. Best friends who between different schools and life choices have lost contact. But we are friends on FACEBOOK, so we didn't lose anything. Right? Maybe it would have been different if we had been connected via social media right out of high school, instead of four or five years down the line. Now, they simply feel like many of the rest of my high school peers who are my "friends" on facebook. I watch them post pictures and status updates but don't really know what is going on in their lives. And I don't know how to make the first step in attempting to reconnect.
I feel like I have been doing better recently. I have managed to stay in contact with several friends from NNU and work, despite being separated from them in time and space. I don't know how much of that is my doing, how much is theirs, and how much is the convenience of facebook.
That being said, I think where this is leading is that I don't want to leave behind another set of abandoned friendships, despite the fledgling state of them, that I have started here in my stay at CWI. If you feel like you might want to stay connected with me, in whatever meaningful or superficial way that might be, I plan on continuing to use this blog, as there is no sense wasting the "space" and I can also be found on:
facebook: http://www.facebook.com/riyirowe
tumblr: http://riyirowe.tumblr.com/
you can also find me on livejournal (not used much anymore), pinterest (used sporadically), or twitter (I am most recently more follower than contributor) under the same username, riyirowe, which is the name I use for pretty much everything. Which reminds me of an interesting article I read once upon a time that talked about how netiquette and net ethics said we should remain the same "person" everywhere, and not continually change names and identities. I don't know if I agree with that, but I unintentionally follow it, simply because the name riyirowe is mine (also found with slight variations i.e. daemon riyirowe, daemon riy, or dae riy--though those are mostly game identities, rather than anything else)
Sometimes I wonder about the people I used to know. Sometimes I wonder if I am one of those people that leaves behind a trail of abandoned friendships and broken bonds. I have never been good at long distance anything. My brain (I speak of him as if he is Other, and not really me, I wonder what that means) has a habit of focusing on the internal to the exclusion of pretty much anything else. This means that if you aren't in my face and saying "PAY ATTENTION TO ME FOR ONE DAMNED MINUTE" I probably won't. I left behind a group of friends every time we moved (which wasn't often, but it happened). And I would promise that I would write, we would exchange phone numbers, and then I left, and didn't look back. Friends from grade school that I lost touch with, so many of my friends from high school. Those are the worst, I think, because I didn't want to lose them. Best friends who between different schools and life choices have lost contact. But we are friends on FACEBOOK, so we didn't lose anything. Right? Maybe it would have been different if we had been connected via social media right out of high school, instead of four or five years down the line. Now, they simply feel like many of the rest of my high school peers who are my "friends" on facebook. I watch them post pictures and status updates but don't really know what is going on in their lives. And I don't know how to make the first step in attempting to reconnect.
I feel like I have been doing better recently. I have managed to stay in contact with several friends from NNU and work, despite being separated from them in time and space. I don't know how much of that is my doing, how much is theirs, and how much is the convenience of facebook.
That being said, I think where this is leading is that I don't want to leave behind another set of abandoned friendships, despite the fledgling state of them, that I have started here in my stay at CWI. If you feel like you might want to stay connected with me, in whatever meaningful or superficial way that might be, I plan on continuing to use this blog, as there is no sense wasting the "space" and I can also be found on:
facebook: http://www.facebook.com/riyirowe
tumblr: http://riyirowe.tumblr.com/
you can also find me on livejournal (not used much anymore), pinterest (used sporadically), or twitter (I am most recently more follower than contributor) under the same username, riyirowe, which is the name I use for pretty much everything. Which reminds me of an interesting article I read once upon a time that talked about how netiquette and net ethics said we should remain the same "person" everywhere, and not continually change names and identities. I don't know if I agree with that, but I unintentionally follow it, simply because the name riyirowe is mine (also found with slight variations i.e. daemon riyirowe, daemon riy, or dae riy--though those are mostly game identities, rather than anything else)
Monday, April 30, 2012
Countdown to the end...
Counting down to the end of the semester and to the end of my journey at CWI. A bittersweet time that I don't seem to have the time to give it the pondering it deserves.
It is down to the end of the semester and my desk has become a paper covered graveyard for fast food cups (mostly) emptied of their caffeinated beverages. Two weeks, less than, until the end of the semester. Until I walk in the graduation ceremony.
I went to my orientation for BSU, which kinda felt like a waste of time, as I could have done everything there from home, but at least I was on campus, and got a bit of a feel for it. It is definitely bigger than either of the other schools I have attended. I did run into a snag with my account (for reasons relating to: being young and dumb, being depressed, and having an avoidance mentality towards problems rather than an attack), so I haven't been able to register for classes. Hopefully I will be able to get into classes I need to be in once it gets straightened out.
I have been doing a lot of freewriting, intended for my Cover Essay/Revision Essay. I am hoping that it comes off as artistic rather than just rambling. Though, personally, I feel it is interesting rambling, so maybe it won't matter. *shrugs*
Okay, so this is short, but I don't have much else to say. My brain is wound so tight that I am having a hard time getting anything out of it, let alone words...
It is down to the end of the semester and my desk has become a paper covered graveyard for fast food cups (mostly) emptied of their caffeinated beverages. Two weeks, less than, until the end of the semester. Until I walk in the graduation ceremony.
I went to my orientation for BSU, which kinda felt like a waste of time, as I could have done everything there from home, but at least I was on campus, and got a bit of a feel for it. It is definitely bigger than either of the other schools I have attended. I did run into a snag with my account (for reasons relating to: being young and dumb, being depressed, and having an avoidance mentality towards problems rather than an attack), so I haven't been able to register for classes. Hopefully I will be able to get into classes I need to be in once it gets straightened out.
I have been doing a lot of freewriting, intended for my Cover Essay/Revision Essay. I am hoping that it comes off as artistic rather than just rambling. Though, personally, I feel it is interesting rambling, so maybe it won't matter. *shrugs*
Okay, so this is short, but I don't have much else to say. My brain is wound so tight that I am having a hard time getting anything out of it, let alone words...
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
The Pretentious Book List
So, in my last post I pretty much spewed a bunch of books out at you, and said "I liked these, you might, too" and left it at that. This list is not that list. This is the list where I get to pretend that I am all pretentious like and say, "You have to read these book or you are a terrible human being and an ignoramus" and then leave it at that. So, here goes. (also, I am sure that there are books on your list of these books that I haven't read, which makes me a terrible human being and an ignoramus as well)
To Kill a Mockingbird--Harper Lee
I read this book in high school and could not put it down, even when our teacher told us not to read ahead. I am having a hard time articulating why this book was so good, but I feel that it is very important that you read it. Something about the struggle for justice, and how the world isn't always fair, and how the right thing isn't always the popular thing.
The Telling--Ursula K. LeGuin
About a human going to live among an alien race to decide whether they can join the cool species club by observing them and making sure they are actually as cool as they look from the outside. It is about knowledge suppression and discrimination and abandoning your way of life because you think that someone else might want you to. Fascinating and deep, if I ever teach a literature course on speculative fiction (which is one of my dreams should I actually become a college prof) this will be on one of my first choices.
The Chronicles of Narnia--C.S. Lewis
Because everyone should be able to dream about finding another world in the wardrobe. Also, because it has influenced generations. I also think it is important because it is fairly obvious as a biblical parallel, not for the inherent idea that it is biblical, but because that much allegory/symbolism is difficult to do and still be interesting and not overwhelming.
Harry Potter--J.K. Rowling
You might laugh, but I seriously think everyone should read these. They are not just for children (actually, I feel they are mislabeled as children, and should be placed in the young adult section). I feel that the Harry Potter series is very well written, the characters are well developed, and the world is meticulously built. I also think that Rowling has some strong themes displaying what is right and wrong, the strength it takes to stand up for what is right, the power of sacrifice, and the importance of determination. Harry can teach us a lot, even if we can't ever cast a single spell.
A Separate Peace--I don't remember and I am too lazy to look it up
It has been such a long time since I read this one that I don't remember who wrote it. It is another that I read in high school and couldn't put down. The struggles of the boys in this story to deal with competing, living, accepting, and growing up caught me. Maybe it was just that I read it at the right time of my life, but it has stuck with me.
On Writing--Stephen King
Anyone who reads or writes should read this. It is a book about writing that is unlike any other book about writing I have ever read (and I have read quite a few). It is half biography and half tips and tricks and half this is what works for me. And yes, that means there is one and a half books in this one book. You get that much out of it. King is a master, and even if what he does won't work for everyone, it wouldn't hurt to take a look at what it is that he does to succeed.
Bel Canto--Ann Patchett
Not because it has some great universal theme (though it kinda does) but simply because it is written so well, so tight and smooth, not a word out of place. I started reading it because the blurb sounded interesting, I kept reading it because the language was gorgeous, I finished reading because I had fallen in love with the characters and had to see them through to the inevitable end. The setting is a birthday party for a very successful Japanese businessman thrown by a small probably South American country. The story begins when the party is taken hostage by a group of guerrilla rebels. It ends the only way it could possibly end, but nevertheless leaves you breathless. Go read it, I can pretty much promise that you won't regret it.
That's it. (also, on the last list I left off A Madness of Angels by Kate Griffin, which is a bunch of fun, and I love it).
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Books and Stuff
So, we were talking about books and writing and reading in class today, and the idea of book lists/recommendations came up, so I decided that I would take a look at my book list. The first thing that told me this could be an issue was when had to dig into a folder of files that were transferred from an old computer and never converted into the updated formats. Definitely it has been six years since I updated the list, and I can definitely tell. It is very much a younger reader, and while many of the books are ones that I still love, it is the love of nostalgia, not the love that says this book is super important and everyone needs to read it. So, the list you are going to see here is spontaneous and hopefully interesting to you. Genres range from science fiction to fantasy to young adult to horror to literary to mystery. I tend toward fantasy and sci fic, both "adult" and YA, but I branch out when something catches my attention.
(Note: These are recommendations mostly because I really liked them and I hope that others will like them, too, not based on books I feel are "important" because of what they have to say, though some of these fall into both categories. Also, they are in no particular order.)
On Writing--Stephen King
Contact--Carl Sagan
Catch Trap--Marion Zimmer Bradley
The Dark Tower series--Stephen King
The Telling--Ursula K. LeGuin
pretty much anything by Patricia McKillip, but The Riddle-Master of Hed is one of my absolute favorites
Dune--Frank Herbert
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo--Stieg Larsson
Ender's Game--Orson Scott Card (the rest of the books in this series are good, too)
His Dark Materials trilogy (starts with The Golden Compass)--Philip Pullman
Harry Potter (because I can't not put it on a rec list)--J.K. Rowling
Abhorsen trilogy (begins with Sabriel)--Garth Nix
The Word and the Void trilogy (begins with Running with the Demon)--Terry Brooks
The Mists of Avalon--Marion Zimmer Bradley
If I Pay Thee Not In Gold--Mercedes Lackey and Piers Anthony
Possession--A.S. Byatt (mystery/romance/literary all rolled into one!)
The Giver--Lois Lowry
The Farthest Away Mountain--Lynne Reid Banks
Bel Canto--Ann Patchett
American Gods--Neil Gaiman
Anansi Boys--Neil Gaiman
Brokeback Mountain--Annie Proulx (short story--much better than the movie, if you were wondering)
Sphere--Michael Crichton
Dracula--Bram Stoker
Pride and Prejudice--Jane Austen
A Madness of Angels--Kate Griffin
Memnoch the Devil--Anne Rice (this comes in the middle of the series, but is my favorite of the Vampire Chronicles)
Hannibal trilogy--Thomas Harris
Practical Magic--Alice Hoffman
Fight Club--Chuck Palahniuk
Jumper--Steven Gould (yes, the movie was based on this, but very very very very loosely)
The Old Man and the Sea--Ernest Hemingway
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies--Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith
Darkly Dreaming Dexter--Jeff Lindsay (the first Dexter book, a bit darker than the show, which I liked)
The Road--Cormac McCarthy
Hero--Perry Moore
Good Omens--Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett
Stardust--Neil Gaiman
Imajica--Clive Barker (sometimes found as two volumes)
Okay, that's it for now. Hopefully you find something you like on there, or maybe you disagree with me on some of them, either way, let me know if you read (or have read) any of these, I would love to hear what you think of them.
(Note: These are recommendations mostly because I really liked them and I hope that others will like them, too, not based on books I feel are "important" because of what they have to say, though some of these fall into both categories. Also, they are in no particular order.)
On Writing--Stephen King
Contact--Carl Sagan
Catch Trap--Marion Zimmer Bradley
The Dark Tower series--Stephen King
The Telling--Ursula K. LeGuin
pretty much anything by Patricia McKillip, but The Riddle-Master of Hed is one of my absolute favorites
Dune--Frank Herbert
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo--Stieg Larsson
Ender's Game--Orson Scott Card (the rest of the books in this series are good, too)
His Dark Materials trilogy (starts with The Golden Compass)--Philip Pullman
Harry Potter (because I can't not put it on a rec list)--J.K. Rowling
Abhorsen trilogy (begins with Sabriel)--Garth Nix
The Word and the Void trilogy (begins with Running with the Demon)--Terry Brooks
The Mists of Avalon--Marion Zimmer Bradley
If I Pay Thee Not In Gold--Mercedes Lackey and Piers Anthony
Possession--A.S. Byatt (mystery/romance/literary all rolled into one!)
The Giver--Lois Lowry
The Farthest Away Mountain--Lynne Reid Banks
Bel Canto--Ann Patchett
American Gods--Neil Gaiman
Anansi Boys--Neil Gaiman
Brokeback Mountain--Annie Proulx (short story--much better than the movie, if you were wondering)
Sphere--Michael Crichton
Dracula--Bram Stoker
Pride and Prejudice--Jane Austen
A Madness of Angels--Kate Griffin
Memnoch the Devil--Anne Rice (this comes in the middle of the series, but is my favorite of the Vampire Chronicles)
Hannibal trilogy--Thomas Harris
Practical Magic--Alice Hoffman
Fight Club--Chuck Palahniuk
Jumper--Steven Gould (yes, the movie was based on this, but very very very very loosely)
The Old Man and the Sea--Ernest Hemingway
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies--Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith
Darkly Dreaming Dexter--Jeff Lindsay (the first Dexter book, a bit darker than the show, which I liked)
The Road--Cormac McCarthy
Hero--Perry Moore
Good Omens--Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett
Stardust--Neil Gaiman
Imajica--Clive Barker (sometimes found as two volumes)
Okay, that's it for now. Hopefully you find something you like on there, or maybe you disagree with me on some of them, either way, let me know if you read (or have read) any of these, I would love to hear what you think of them.
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