I have had a realization. I don't know if I would consider it an epiphany or not, simply because it didn't strike me all at once, it has been rolling in the back of my mind causing me guilt and shame for a while now, I just didn't want to formally acknowledge it.
I am failing at being a writer. Mostly because I don't write. Writers write, right? And if you aren't writing, you aren't a writer, right right? (and school doesn't count)
Anyway, even though this realization was difficult for me to accept, it was also healthy, because it has kicked my ass in gear.
If I want to be a professional writer I have to stop thinking like an amateur. I have to write every day, whether I want to or not, and I have to finish my shit and edit it so it isn't shit and then I have to do something with it. Whether that is trying to go independent and toss it on amazon and/or barnes and noble, or if it means sending it to publishers/agents/magazines/etc trying to get my name out there.
I have to stop treating this like a hobby and starting treating it like my job, because that is what I want it to be. I need to give myself hours (even if they are flexible on when, there needs to be a set number of them) and deadlines.
And I need to fucking write.
Oh, honey, you aren't failing.You know who you are,and what you want to do, as well as what you need to do to get there, which is a BIG step towards NOT failing. More than I've ever had. You, my friend, are already a writer.
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